Wake up panting
Its dark around
I grope for the light
No sight no sound
The fuckin switch aint there
Swing my legs to the ground
But the floors gone.
Falling down in the darkness
Screams stifled in the throat
Flailing in the air
Arms grope for a support
Was that light I saw?
Someone please press abort..
But im not asleep.
Pressed against the wall
The roller coaster is turning
the damn door’s locked
why are my eyes burning?
The world sweeps past
The pain’s past enduring
But im not crying.
Caught in the web
Tiny helpless fly
Thrash around for escape
My mouth’s dry
The net’s getting tighter
Did I hear a sigh?
But im not breathing.
About Me
- rashanality
- Goa, New Delhi, India
- rewiring the brain...my musings are the side effects...
8 comments:
this tym u used lines in place of single adjectives which is supportiv fr the readers to get into d mood of d poem..bt guy soone or later u gonna make sombdy commit suicide attach a warning along wid it 'not for tense n depressed persons'; gud imagination bt now try somthin new...
lol divy..u talkin bout ppl commitin suicide..id be dead by now if tht were true.. :P
i think the poems r all awesome...but this guy's really trubled abt something...dude buck up and write something more cheerful man..[:P]..hehe..anyway...pretty melancholic and captivating...nie wokr man!
Let the critics say whatever they wish to, but I think its beautiful. Plain beautiful, period.
this excerpt from my conversation with akash is aimed at being an instrument to further understanding the poems..and should be viewed in the same light..
"pretence is the most meaningful one..there isnt a word in there which is extra/useless..rather some words like "exiled innocence", and "plagued Troy" add so much meaning to it..
you've spent a lot of time fitting the poem to the theme in "blindfolded"..by the end..the reader somehow guesses how it would end..but still v good...
and despair...is hauntingly beautiful.."But im not crying."..i wud have written "and I am crying"! thats how different people think! :)
"
reminds me of metallica's Enter Sandman...and really nice background :) and regarding the poem i think prajney got it right and your conversation with akash tells how influencing is your work for some people...though i still think mine was better :P..still searching a title for that.....
Came to your blog after a long time and discovered a startlingly well thought out masterpiece posted by you - more filled with an aura of premonition and precognition than your earlier ones - perhaps it may be imply the panic of mankind as it clutches and reaches out for a straw to save it from the darkness to encompass this earth as its 11th hour transits into the soulless darkness of its 12th and final hour - yet the title "Musings" indicates otherwise - Rahul - I think you will have to add a para to your poems explaining the meanings as you saw them - of course people would always be free to interpret the poems in their own different ways depending upon their individual perspectives ...
Hope you are well and happy and doing well
With love from all of us
Deepak
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