Musings

Eyes Above

2008-11-16T05:50:00.000-08:00

He met them first on a tired night
I reckon they saw him before
No will left to reach for the light
He slept awake on the floor.

They watched him smile
And heard him whistle to himself
They saw his art file
And the stacked bookshelf.

They heard the phone ring
And the endearments flowing by
Then the Cupid’s broken wing
As he stared at the night sky.

They gazed at the piece of paper
Over which he brooded long
The results of the term paper
Wiped off his last song.

They watched him take his first drag
Empty glasses, crushed can
Through the smoke they saw the dirty mag
And hid behind the fan.

They saw the mother come and go
The scene never changed for long
They shook with the father’s bellow
And gazed as he stayed up all night long.

They stole a glance at the break of dawn
As he rushed out in his jogging array
They watched him stretch and yawn
And sleep for the rest of the day.

They saw the bookshelf cover in dust
Through the haze of smoke
They witnessed his pen nibs rust
As he experimented with coke.

Then one day they saw him smile
He floated into the dorm
He beamed at nothingness awhile
And lay on the bed cruciform.

He took out a photo
Of an angel they could swear
He kissed and caressed the photo
And then hurriedly cleaned the smear.

They saw lesser of him then on
But the bookshelf was cleaned
And new drawings were born
Depicting the lovely daughter of the Dean.

Then came one evening
They saw him pace around
With a wine bottle and a brown packet
A soldier readying for battleground.

They dint hear him come back all night
He returned in the morning to his room
Packed his bags and left
And they were wiped off with a broom.

DUSK

2008-10-19T12:13:00.000-07:00

Glittering grains, varied hues

Ripples of silver, flickering blues

Waves caress the footprints

And dissolve them into oblivion.

The setting sun reflects a dazzling red

A reminder of the times we had

The sea embraces them again

Wrenching from my feet

Sheet after sheet

And leave me high and dry.

Sweet memories gush through

The swell crashes

Against the sea wall – tough

Yet vulnerable. Strong

And confident it stands

Guarding the city of tears

Never faultering

Smothering

Suffocating

Yet sapient.

How long will the bulwark

Stand? Snipers take their mark

And vultures clean their beaks

The sun sets and the sky is

Splashed with purple streaks.

2008-06-12T23:24:00.000-07:00

Forty Two

Routine redundant reasoning

Definitive death of paroxysm

Absolute self control

Eyes riveted

Obliterating surrounds

Impose Insignificance

Otiose motivation

Transparent skin

Staring blackness

No air No air

Iron clamps

Wicked Hands .

Light !

Glorious dawn

Amour propre

Scented breeze

Flowers strewn

No pain No pain

Eyes wide shut .

2008-01-16T10:15:00.000-08:00

Volition

The cool sand beneath my feet
Feel the salty breeze on my palms
The waves crash against the rocks
And everything else is calm.

Captivated I walk on
My eyes on the horizon
My footprints follow me silently
And we are all alone.

Warm water caresses my feet
I wrench my eyes back
Dazzling grains of gold
And my thoughts lose track.

But the glow of the setting sun
Beckons me ahead
I wade on into the sea
And grains are mud instead.

My feet are tired
The water is so cold
But the ocean stretches on
And the sun’s a brilliant gold…….

Despair

2007-10-26T14:22:00.000-07:00

Wake up panting
Its dark around
I grope for the light
No sight no sound
The fuckin switch aint there
Swing my legs to the ground
But the floors gone.

Falling down in the darkness
Screams stifled in the throat
Flailing in the air
Arms grope for a support
Was that light I saw?
Someone please press abort..
But im not asleep.

Pressed against the wall
The roller coaster is turning
the damn door’s locked
why are my eyes burning?
The world sweeps past
The pain’s past enduring
But im not crying.

Caught in the web
Tiny helpless fly
Thrash around for escape
My mouth’s dry
The net’s getting tighter
Did I hear a sigh?
But im not breathing.

Pretence

2007-10-19T05:24:00.000-07:00

The world we live upon
Of hate and farce and jealousy and scorn
Of smothered conscience and closed doors
Of lies and pretence for friends and foes
Of blank pages and broken pens
Of brainwashed kids and zombied men
Of orders passed with calm aplomb
I hate this world, this world of norm.

They live on, fight to die
Shoved along by the lie
No time to look back, to justify
To think or smile or laugh or cry
Embattled forever in the fight for joy
Prisoner of self, plagued Troy.

End this world, this world of norm,
This progressive decay of human form
Sit back, relax, stop thinking awhile,
Of when to lie or fake a smile
Of fear of failure and dejection and gloom
Get off this creaky ship to doom
Swim in the open seas for once
Give your conscience, your soul a chance
Live by your heart, live for yourself
For once keep rivalry on the shelf
Live life as it comes, live for today
Give the exiled innocence a chance to stay

And you’ll feel alive again
Feel true happiness and real pain
You’ll live real and live free
Like the birds, and rivers, and flowers, and trees.
And God will smile in the sunshineBy jove my world is mine again!!

Blindfolded

2007-10-19T05:02:00.001-07:00

I walk along
Blindfolded
Prodded on by sounds and voices
Some concerned, some misleading,
They beckon me towards my goal
Some urge me to wait and be careful
Some command me to run and be bold.

I listen
Blindfolded
To all the voices around me
And follow their varied directions
I trudge and strut and amble
Never thinking for a moment
That I would ever stumble.

I whistle
Blindfolded
Some long forgotten song
Surrounded by pure bliss
With applauding sounds all around
When suddenly my foot strikes a rock
And I stagger and fall to the ground.

I scramble
Blindfolded
And try to get up
But I slip again and fall hard.
I beg for a direction or a command
But the voices are all gone
And it’s silent all around

I ponder
Blindfolded
The abrupt downfall
And burn in self loathing
For not obeying some phantasmic diktat
But the time passes by and I lie there
And with mud on my face I introspect

I realize
Blindfolded
After much deliberation
That the world around me was dark
That my eyes could see and direct me
I didn’t need the voices
And I removed my blindfold at this epiphany

I see
With my eyes
The beautiful world around
And the straight path which lay ahead
A few obstacles on the way
But my goal was shining in the distance
And the noise had gone away.